How can wives save their marriage?

A recent article provides a wife advice that could devastate their marriage and lead to a divorce. Divorce should not be an option when infidelity is not involved. Wives  can save their marriage by taking their rightful place as outlined in the original design of marriage.

According to the article, Advice for the Modern Man: Can I Still Save My Marriage, the wife has several complaints regarding her marriage. This wife complains that she initialized several efforts to save her marriage. She has had several conversations with her husband in which he agrees to help save their marriage. She has even attempted to withdraw from the wedding, but her then fiancé told her that things would get better. She also stated that her husband is neither physically nor emotionally abusive.

The article author believes that the husband is negligent and the wife should use her existence in the marriage as a tool to enhance her husband’s behavior. “The time for generalities and hollow threats is over. It’s about action now. And if, for whatever reason, he still won’t get off the sectional, you have to be willing to walk away”, says the author.

The advice provided by this author is treacherous on several fronts. First, since the husband has not committed any acts associated with infidelity, she has no grounds to leave her husband. The Holy Scriptures are very clear in the area of infidelity (Matthew 5:32 &1 Corinthians 7:10 – 7:11)

But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery (Matthew 5:32).

And unto the married I command, [yet] not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from [her] husband: But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to [her] husband: and let not the husband put away [his] wife  (1 Corinthians 7:10 – 7:11).

Secondly, the author should address the husband’s behavior for embracing the sectional. The husband either does not work and the sectional has become a place of comfort. Or he works very hard and uses the sectional as a device of refuge. In either case, this husband has missed the purpose of his marriage which is outlined in the original design of marriage.

Instead on complaining and exhibiting self-centered behaviors, the wife needs to exhibit behaviors associated with her role in the original design of marriage. The wife can find her original role in Genesis 2:18. In this verse, she is to help the husband with his God ordained purpose. But according to the article, she wants to be the center of the marriage. She not only wants to place herself above the needs of her husband, but she wants to place herself above God.

There are several women in the bible who decided to put themselves above their husband which resulted in devastation for the wife. One example is Queen Vashti.

In the Book of Esther, Queen Vashti is the wife of King Ahasuerus. While her husband was holding a banquet for his princes, nobles and servants, Vashti was holding a separate banquet for the women. On the seventh day of the banquet, the king ordered his seven chamberlains to summon Vashti to come before him and his guests wearing only her royal crown, in order to display her beauty. Queen Vashti refused to come, and the king became angry. He asked his advisers how the queen should be punished for her disobedience. His adviser Memucan told him that Vashti has wronged not only the king, but also all of the husbands of Persia, whose wives may be encouraged by Vashti’s act of disobedience. Memucan encouraged King Ahasuerus to dismiss Queen Vashti and find another queen. King Ahasuerus took Memucan’s advice, and sent letters to all of the provinces that men should dominate in their households. Ahasuerus subsequently chooses Esther as his queen to replaced former Queen Vashti.

Instead of taking advice that can result in a divorce, wives can take their rightful place in their marriage by becoming the intimate team player. This is their position according to the original design of marriage. In this way, they will work together as a team and therefore avoid the atrocities associated with divorce by positioning their marriage to prosper.

Related Articles

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In Christ,

 

Dr. Derrick and Mrs. Sheila Campbell
PO Box 4707
Cherry Hill, NJ 08012

(856) 566-3267
www.advancedmarriagetraining.com

Published books – Leading Your Marriage into the Promised Land

-Leading Your Marriage into the Promised Land (Workbook for husbands & Wives)

– Advanced Marriage Training for Singles

– Husband Leadership Principles

 All Three     Advanced     Husband Leadership Book     high-res-png     luveuphoria-app-for-facebook-png

 

“I was blessed by the love and sensitivity that you and your wife showed during the presentation”.

 

Bishop Joseph P. Ravenell

Samaritan Baptist Church

Trenton, NJ

“I would highly recommend you to any church or organization desiring to provide their people with timely marital wisdom and practical application skills”.

 

Dr. James E. Woods, II

El Shaddia Christian Assembly

Philadelphia, PA

 Derrick and Sheila

 

How can the 10 Day Luveuphoria Challenge enhance marriages?

The 10 Day Luveuphoria Challenge as a method that husbands can use to enhance the love in their marriage. According to Loretta Livingstone, “Love must face reality, if it is to survive.” The reality is that the 10 Day Luveuphoria Challenge provides the husband an opportunity to become the leader in transitioning his marriage into something that is more meaningful to him and his wife.

The 10 Day Luveuphoria Challenge was developed from the Luveuphoria Phenomenon. The Luveuphoria Phenomenon is consistent with Newton’s Law of Cooling. Newton’s Law of Cooling states that the rate of change of the temperature of an object is proportional to the difference between its own temperature and the ambient temperature (i.e. the temperature of its surroundings). The Luveuphoria Phenomenon states that the rate of affection in a marriage is proportional to the number of non-sexual intimacy encounters and the number of days that a person is in the presence of their spouse.

The Luveuphoria Phenomenon uses the Luveuphoria Formula. The Luveuphoria Formula is as follows:

LF = [(Log10 (ns/nd)) · 10] – 1

ns = number of non-sexual touches

nd = number of days

The Luveuphoria Phenomenon has a scale and a chart.

Luveuphoria Scale rev 1

 

Luveuphoria Chart

Luveuphoria Numerical Scale
LF Range
0 Freezing
1 – 2 Cold
3 – 5 Warm
6 – 7 Hot
8 – 10 Extremely Hot
11 + Explosive

 

How will the 10 Day Luveuphoria Challenge help marriages?

An increase in non-sexual intimacy is paramount for a healthy marriage because it has a powerful impact on the emotions. The skin contains receptors that directly elicit emotional responses, through stimulation of erogenous zones or nerve endings. The emotional impact of non-sexual intimacy is ingrained in our bodies.

Tactile corpuscles (or Meissner’s corpuscles) are responsible for the light touches associated with non-sexual intimacy. They are located on various areas of the skin, but concentrated in areas especially sensitive to light touch, such as the fingers and lips. They are specifically located in the glabrous skin just beneath the epidermis within the dermal papillae.

Another factor that contributes to the benefits of non-sexual intimacy is oxytocin. Non-sexual intimacy can induce oxytocin release. Oxytocin is a hormone that reduces stress related responses and is an important ingredient for any successful marriage. Oxytocin is produced mainly in the hypothalamus, where it is either released into the blood via the pituitary gland, or to other parts of the brain and spinal cord, where it binds to oxytocin receptors to influence behavior and physiology.

The oxytocin receptor, also known as OXTR, is a protein which functions as receptor for the hormone and neurotransmitter oxytocin. In humans, the oxytocin receptor is encoded by the OXTR gene which has been localized to human chromosome 3p25. Oxytocin receptors are present in the central nervous system. These receptors modulate a variety of behaviors, including stress and anxiety, social memory and recognition, sexual and aggressive behaviors, bonding (affiliation) and maternal behavior.

Studies have found that couples who engaged in non-sexual contact such as touching each other’s neck, shoulders, and hands, had more oxytocin in their saliva than couples who did not engage in this type of non-sexual intimacy. Oxytocin reduces the challenges that people experience from everyday stressors, such as family turmoil or conflict at work. In essence, non-sexual intimacy provides the positive energy necessary for a healthy marriage.

How does the 10 Day Luveuphoria Challenge work?

1)      For ten days the husband will use the Luveuphoria Formula to pre-plan the non-sexual contacts with his wife. The goal is to stay within the extremely hot range. The husband can choose to use the convenience of our Luveuphoria Formula App which is available on the Apple Store or on the Google Play Store.  He can also use the Luveuphoria Kit.

2)      Each day the husband will post a brief Facebook video about their experience. They will include the following has tag – #10DayLuveuphoria – so that other husbands can benefit from their testimonial. The husband will also nominate two other husbands to take on the challenge.   

For your video testimonial here are a few tips. An effective testimonial is audible   and brief. The four essential parts to an effective testimonial include: (1) the beginning, (2) a sequence of events, (3) a Climax, and (4) a conclusion. In order to effectively organize your testimonial please consider the following. For the beginning include what your marriage was like before the 10 Day Luveuphoria Challenge. For the sequence of events please include some of the non-sexual contacts that you used. For the climax include some of the responses that your wife had. For the conclusion include the positive impact that the 10 Day Luveuphoria Challenge had on your marriage.

The 10 Day Luveuphoria Challenge will help the husband to become the leader in transitioning his marriage to ensure eternal love between him and his wife.

Related Articles

7 Day Love Challenge

5 Things I Wish My Father Told Me About Marriage

4 simple, powerful ways to feel captivated by your spouse again

In Christ,

 

Dr. Derrick and Mrs. Sheila Campbell
PO Box 4707
Cherry Hill, NJ 08012

(856) 566-3267
www.advancedmarriagetraining.com

 

Published books – Leading Your Marriage into the Promised Land

-Leading Your Marriage into the Promised Land (Workbook for husbands & Wives)

– Advanced Marriage Training for Singles

– Husband Leadership Principles

 Husband Leadership Book          Advanced          All Three

 

“I was blessed by the love and sensitivity that you and your wife showed during the presentation”.

 

Bishop Joseph P. Ravenell

Samaritan Baptist Church

Trenton, NJ

“I would highly recommend you to any church or organization desiring to provide their people with timely marital wisdom and practical application skills”.

 

Dr. James E. Woods, II

El Shaddia Christian Assembly

Philadelphia, PA

Derrick and Sheila