How can couples avoid the 7 year itch?

Couples continue to face many challenges which could include the 7 year itch. Marriage involves a man and woman loving each other and embracing a lifelong commitment for their entire lives. Couples can eliminate the effect of the 7 year itch by developing marital processes that ensure they remain focused on their love for God and each other. 

According to the article, How to combat the proven 7-year-itch Relationship Roadblock, it is believed that the 7 year itch is causing many marriages to have challenges. “Widely studied by psychologists and love experts, the notion that marriages hit a rough spot around year seven has been supported and disputed. Some say the time when a marriage is more likely to fail is more like three or four years in. Others, such as a recent OnePoll study commissioned by Pure Romance and shared with Verily, in which a thousand Americans who had be married an average of twenty years and at lest five years old, found that year seven was the worst.” 

The article emphasizes that couples protect their marriage from the 7 year itch by:

1.  Enhancing Communication

2.  Minimizing the impact of fighting 

3.  Learn to talk about the hard subjects

4.  Seek counseling

The suggestions offered to avoid the seven year itch do not respond to the root causes that will contribute to the 7-year itch.

Enhancing communication to avoid the 7-year-itch requires several strategies. The first mistake is that before couples stop communicating, they stop touching each other. As a matter of fact, when couples become angry with each other the first thing that happens is that they stop touching. The husband and wife must make a concerted effort to ensue that when and if they become angry with each other that they will continue to touch each other physically. One way to accomplish this task is to utilized The Luveuphoria Formula and husbands can use the 10 Luveuphoria Challenge.

Ephesians 4:26 – 27 instructs individuals not to allow the sun go down on their anger. This is a primary mistake for many people which includes couples who desire to avoid the 7 year itch.

Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath: Neither give place to the devil (Ephesians 4:26,27).

One way to avoid this challenge is to utilize a conflict reflection tool. Couples can use the conflict reflection tool as follows:

  1. After the couple has had their disagreement, they need to retreat to a quiet space.
  2. Take a blank piece of paper and draw a line down the middle of the paper.
  3. On the right side, write down what was said by each person during the disagreement.
  4. Then on the left side, write down what you were thinking when each statement was made.
  5. Next, you want to circle the turning point of the argument. This is the point where you had an opportunity to ensure that the conversation remained positive. This is called the inflection point.
  6. Once you have determined the inflection point of the argument develop a strategy to ensure that the next disagreement regarding this challenge does not become an argument.

Another process that couples can use to avoid the 7 year itch instead of just talking about hard subjects is to develop a shared vision and a strategic plan for their family. A shared vision is a mental vision of the marriage that the couple will agree on. It will provide the energy and focus needed for the husband and wife to begin the learning process for the development of their strategic plan.

Developing a strategic will provide couples an opportunity to discuss their goals and have discussions with the travesties associated with a dysfunctional organization such as a marriage that is enraged by the 7 year itch.

Related Articles

Has your marriage hit the seven-year itch? Here’s how to survive it

Bored of your beloved? Blame it on the seven-year itch phenomenon

Seven-year itch really DOES make a divorce more likely: Professor says the statistics back up the superstition 

 

In Christ,

 

Dr. Derrick and Mrs. Sheila Campbell
PO Box 4707
Cherry Hill, NJ 08012

(856) 566-3267
www.advancedmarriagetraining.com

 

Published books – Leading Your Marriage into the Promised Land

-Leading Your Marriage into the Promised Land (Workbook for husbands & Wives)

– Advanced Marriage Training for Singles

– Husband Leadership Principles

 All Three     Advanced     Husband Leadership Book     luveuphoria-app-for-facebook-png

 

“I was blessed by the love and sensitivity that you and your wife showed during the presentation”.

 

Bishop Joseph P. Ravenell

Samaritan Baptist Church

Trenton, NJ

“I would highly recommend you to any church or organization desiring to provide their people with timely marital wisdom and practical application skills”.

 

Dr. James E. Woods, II

El Shaddia Christian Assembly

Philadelphia, PA

 Derrick and Sheila

 

How can couples stay in love forever?

According to a recent article, couples can stay in love if they utilize several small daily practices. Staying in love requires basic principles that supersede daily practices. Couples can only stay in love if they understand what it takes to have a marriage commitment.

According to the article, Marriage Advice: 6 Ways to Stay in Love Forever, the following six main practices will maintain a loving marriage.

  1. Couple Time
  2. Connecting throughout the day
  3. Giving Appreciations
  4. Trying new things
  5. Making each other laugh
  6. Praising your spouse’s physical appearance

While each practice has benefits, it will not become beneficial unless the husband and wife understand commitment.

What type of commitment will ensure that couples stay in love?

According to the world’s standards, commitment is the state or quality of being dedicated to a cause, activity, etc. The classic example of commitment is related to the egg and bacon breakfast. The chicken is involved but the pig is committed. The chicken is involved because they continue to lay the eggs. It is a natural process and their contribution does not have to be permanent. However, the pig is committed because their involvement is permanent.

Commitment involves demonstrating that an individual will engage in something in which it has the highest priority. The Bible also teaches that the highest priority in our lives is our commitment to God. Jesus said, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment” (Matthew 22:37-38).

Furthermore, according to the original design of marriage (Ordermige), both men and women should learn certain commitments before entertaining marriage. The major commitment that the perspective husbands must have is to become a servant and a steward. The perspective wife must learn to be committed to the husband.

What type of servant should the man be to ensure that he and his wife stay in love forever?

According to the original design of marriage (Ordermige), the husband should be a servant that is committed to God. A husband that is committed to God will serve his purpose. God calls every man to serve a purpose that glorifies His name. Noah served his purpose when he obeyed God and built the ark. Joseph served his purpose when he delivered his family from the famine that was in the land of Egypt. Moses served his purpose when he delivered the Israelis from the clutches of the Egyptians. A husband who desires to stay in love forever must maintain a commitment to God by serving in his God ordained purpose.

What type of steward should the man be to ensure that he and his wife stay in love forever?

According to the original design of marriage (Ordermige), God granted Adam a stewardship when He assigned him the duty of protecting the Garden of Eden. A stewardship requires a relationship between the master and the one that the master entrusts with the resources.

Stewards faithfully use their talents and resources to glorify God. In the parable regarding the talents, Jesus teaches us that we are to use our resources to glorify God (Matthew 25: 14-30). It does not matter whether the resources are epic or miniscule. God expects men to be good stewards over the resources that He provides.

What type of wife should a woman be to ensure that she and her husband stay in love forever?

According to the original design of marriage (Ordermige), God made Eve to be a helper. God added Eve so that she and Adam would become a team. A team is a group who are organized together for some common goal. That common goal is the area in which Adam and in our case in which the man is called to serve. From a biblical perspective, teamwork involves sharing in the biblical responsibilities based on biblical goals, values, priorities, giftedness, and training. God made Eve to be a team player. God designed each wife to be the ultimate team player. A team player does not seek to be a one-person show, but works together with her husband and uses their skills and abilities in a cooperative way.

Staying in love forever will require that couples exhibit a commitment to God as outlined in the original design of marriage (Ordermige).

Related Articles

12 Things Not to Say to Someone Who Loves Staying In

Love is a Choice More than a Feeling

Making Love Last

 

In Christ,

 

Dr. Derrick and Mrs. Sheila Campbell PO Box 1668 Blackwood, NJ 08012 (856) 566-3267 www.advancedmarriagetraining.com

 

Published books – Leading Your Marriage into the Promised Land -Leading Your Marriage into the Promised Land (Workbook for husbands & Wives) – Advanced Marriage Training for Singles

All Three          Advanced

 

“I was blessed by the love and sensitivity that you and your wife showed during the presentation”.

 

Bishop Joseph P. Ravenell

Samaritan Baptist Church

Trenton, NJ “I would highly recommend you to any church or organization desiring to provide their people with timely marital wisdom and practical application skills”.

 

Dr. James E. Woods, II

El Shaddia Christian Assembly

Philadelphia, PA

Derrick and Sheila