How can wives save their marriage?

A recent article provides a wife advice that could devastate their marriage and lead to a divorce. Divorce should not be an option when infidelity is not involved. Wives  can save their marriage by taking their rightful place as outlined in the original design of marriage.

According to the article, Advice for the Modern Man: Can I Still Save My Marriage, the wife has several complaints regarding her marriage. This wife complains that she initialized several efforts to save her marriage. She has had several conversations with her husband in which he agrees to help save their marriage. She has even attempted to withdraw from the wedding, but her then fiancé told her that things would get better. She also stated that her husband is neither physically nor emotionally abusive.

The article author believes that the husband is negligent and the wife should use her existence in the marriage as a tool to enhance her husband’s behavior. “The time for generalities and hollow threats is over. It’s about action now. And if, for whatever reason, he still won’t get off the sectional, you have to be willing to walk away”, says the author.

The advice provided by this author is treacherous on several fronts. First, since the husband has not committed any acts associated with infidelity, she has no grounds to leave her husband. The Holy Scriptures are very clear in the area of infidelity (Matthew 5:32 &1 Corinthians 7:10 – 7:11)

But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery (Matthew 5:32).

And unto the married I command, [yet] not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from [her] husband: But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to [her] husband: and let not the husband put away [his] wife  (1 Corinthians 7:10 – 7:11).

Secondly, the author should address the husband’s behavior for embracing the sectional. The husband either does not work and the sectional has become a place of comfort. Or he works very hard and uses the sectional as a device of refuge. In either case, this husband has missed the purpose of his marriage which is outlined in the original design of marriage.

Instead on complaining and exhibiting self-centered behaviors, the wife needs to exhibit behaviors associated with her role in the original design of marriage. The wife can find her original role in Genesis 2:18. In this verse, she is to help the husband with his God ordained purpose. But according to the article, she wants to be the center of the marriage. She not only wants to place herself above the needs of her husband, but she wants to place herself above God.

There are several women in the bible who decided to put themselves above their husband which resulted in devastation for the wife. One example is Queen Vashti.

In the Book of Esther, Queen Vashti is the wife of King Ahasuerus. While her husband was holding a banquet for his princes, nobles and servants, Vashti was holding a separate banquet for the women. On the seventh day of the banquet, the king ordered his seven chamberlains to summon Vashti to come before him and his guests wearing only her royal crown, in order to display her beauty. Queen Vashti refused to come, and the king became angry. He asked his advisers how the queen should be punished for her disobedience. His adviser Memucan told him that Vashti has wronged not only the king, but also all of the husbands of Persia, whose wives may be encouraged by Vashti’s act of disobedience. Memucan encouraged King Ahasuerus to dismiss Queen Vashti and find another queen. King Ahasuerus took Memucan’s advice, and sent letters to all of the provinces that men should dominate in their households. Ahasuerus subsequently chooses Esther as his queen to replaced former Queen Vashti.

Instead of taking advice that can result in a divorce, wives can take their rightful place in their marriage by becoming the intimate team player. This is their position according to the original design of marriage. In this way, they will work together as a team and therefore avoid the atrocities associated with divorce by positioning their marriage to prosper.

Related Articles

Kicked in the nuptials: Advice for an Alaska marriage

I Don’t Want To Be The Breadwinner In My Marriage Anymore!

Ask Amy: Marriage on the rocks needs quick help

In Christ,

 

Dr. Derrick and Mrs. Sheila Campbell
PO Box 4707
Cherry Hill, NJ 08012

(856) 566-3267
www.advancedmarriagetraining.com

Published books – Leading Your Marriage into the Promised Land

-Leading Your Marriage into the Promised Land (Workbook for husbands & Wives)

– Advanced Marriage Training for Singles

– Husband Leadership Principles

 All Three     Advanced     Husband Leadership Book     high-res-png     luveuphoria-app-for-facebook-png

 

“I was blessed by the love and sensitivity that you and your wife showed during the presentation”.

 

Bishop Joseph P. Ravenell

Samaritan Baptist Church

Trenton, NJ

“I would highly recommend you to any church or organization desiring to provide their people with timely marital wisdom and practical application skills”.

 

Dr. James E. Woods, II

El Shaddia Christian Assembly

Philadelphia, PA

 Derrick and Sheila

 

How to have a lifelong marriage?

In a recent article, several couples who have provide advice on how they have managed to have a lifelong marriage. It is not a lack of love that derails a marriage, it is a lack of commitment. A lifelong marriage requires a commitment to the original design of marriage.

According to the article, Two long-married couples give advice on creating lifelong love, both couples necessitate the need for commitment, communication, teamwork, and stewardship are the primary ingredients for a lifelong marriage. Ted and Betty Sue Forrester made major contributions to the article. Betty Sue believes that marriage needs to founded in Godly principles. According to Betty Sue, “I would say to a couple, let the Lord be number one in your marriage and love and respect each other totally.” Ted surmises, “No matter what you’re doing, live within your means. Have one checkbook. None of this, your money and my money stuff. Marriage is a team.”

Jerry and Lucile Adams made contributions to the article too. According to Jerry, marriage is a commitment. Lucile had a focus on the finances and relationship aspect of a marriage. Lucile believes that marriage is give and take. “You can’t always have your way. Sometimes you have to go with his ideas, and then he’ll go with mine.”

While both couples have provided great insight into sustaining a lifelong marriage, the real problem that many couples have faced is the how.

How can couples create and sustain a lifelong marriage? 

Couples can create and sustain a lifelong marriage by replicating the original design of marriage. The first two phases of the original design of marriage focus on the man. According to Genesis 2:15, God called Adam to be a servant and steward over the Garden of Eden. This foundation is where most marriages fail. Husbands place an emphasis on working in the world rather than working for God.

I can’t number the countless times when I find the correlation between a troubled marriage and a husband who refuses to serve God.

Another troubling correlation in a troubled marriage is the husband’s lack of stewardship. Stewardship defines a man’s relationship to God. It identifies God as owner and man as manager.

Stewardship defines our practical obedience in the administration of everything under our control. It is the consecration of one’s self and possessions to God’s service. Stewardship acknowledges in practice that we do not have the right of control over ourselves or our property—God has that control. It means as stewards of God we are managers of that which belongs to God, and we are under His constant authority as we administer His affairs. Faithful stewardship means that we fully acknowledge we are not our own but belong to Christ, the Lord, who gave Himself for us.

The second challenge that can avert a lifelong marriage is when the perspective husband does not follow God’s directions. Praise and worship is one area that many men have challenges.

Men have responsibilities to God that many men will not follow.

For a  man  indeed ought  not to  cover  his  head, forasmuch as he  is the  image and  glory of  God:  but the woman  is the  glory of the man (1 Corinthians 11:7).

In this passage the image of God is Jesus Christ. The glory of God in the Greek doxa. Doxa means to honor, praise, and worship which is a primary area that many men have challenges.

Honoring God has many benefits. For example, when we honor God with our money we can expect increase. When we give to the Lord, we demonstrate to him, to others, to our wives, and to ourselves that he is supreme in our lives.  When we give, we attest that he is our most valued treasure. Giving shows that our hearts are set on him and not on our money or belongings. Giving honors God as supreme. Giving to him is an act of worship. Since finances is a primary reason for divorce, we can increase the likelihood of a lifelong marriage by tithing and giving.

The final necessity for a lifelong marriage is a wife that would help their husband in the spiritual mission that God has appointed him to serve. God put the husband and wife to work together as a team. Much of this necessity becomes diverted because the premium is placed in other areas. Marriages either become the focus of wife or the children. This is an error and can contribute to pitfalls that avert the benefits of a lifelong marriage.

Related Articles

Illinois Republicans Divided On Same-Sex Marriage, Trump

Woman has second thoughts about marriage

The Latino Marriage Paradox

In Christ,

 

Dr. Derrick and Mrs. Sheila Campbell
PO Box 4707
Cherry Hill, NJ 08012

(856) 566-3267
www.advancedmarriagetraining.com

 

Published books – Leading Your Marriage into the Promised Land

-Leading Your Marriage into the Promised Land (Workbook for husbands & Wives)

– Advanced Marriage Training for Singles

– Husband Leadership Principles

Advanced          All Three          Husband Leadership Book

 

 

“I was blessed by the love and sensitivity that you and your wife showed during the presentation”.

 

Bishop Joseph P. Ravenell

Samaritan Baptist Church

Trenton, NJ

“I would highly recommend you to any church or organization desiring to provide their people with timely marital wisdom and practical application skills”.

 

Dr. James E. Woods, II

El Shaddia Christian Assembly

Philadelphia, PA

Derrick and Sheila 

 

 

How can couples bulletproof their marriage?

In a recent article, several authors believe that the best way to bulletproof a marriage is to treat it like a business. Marriage is a sacred institution. Marriage should not be treated like a business. This also implies that a successful marriage is dependent on the economical system of the country. Couples can only bulletproof their marriage by replicating the characteristics associated with the original design of marriage (Ordermige).

According to the article, Couples learn how to bulletproof their marriage and invest in a life-long relationship, counselors Renato and Cardoso have created a guide for helping singles and couples. “The co-authors state that marriage is like a business and that problems should be approached as they would in a company, seeking a win-win situation for everyone. If one loses, both lose. So remember the company’s goals, the team, not just the individual. Similar to a company, propose a solution that addresses the cause of the problem. Having identified the challenge, couples are guided on how to agree a plan of action, define who will do what and test it to see if it offers a practical solution.” Treating a marriage like a business is problematic because it does not guide couples to replicate the original design of marriage.

The original design of marriage has three primary components. The fist component that is found in Genesis 2:16 which provides an insight on what preparation and characteristics will qualify a man to be a husband. The perspective husband must be a servant and a good steward over the resources that God has provided.

A servant is a person who obedient and faithful to God – The Father of Jesus Christ.(Joshua 1:2; 2 Kings 8:19; Daniel 6:20; Colossians 4:12; 2 Timothy 2:24). Our great almighty God Jesus Christ was a servant too. “For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many” (Mark 10:45). Jesus Christ servanthood attitude was exemplified according to Philippians 2:6-7.

“Who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, taking the form of a servant” (Philippians 2:6-7).

A servant will also have a relationship with Jesus Christ. He will dedicate himself to his calling. He will be a great steward over the resources that God has provided. Daniel provides an example of a good steward. Like many of us, Daniel was a steward in a foreign land. Whatever God entrust us with, whether it is gifts of ability, intellect, possessions, position, or financial prosperity, he places those gifting into our lives to bless others, and to further God’s purposes. Daniel and his friends Hananiah, Mishael, and Azariah, who are better, know as Shadrach, Meschach and Abendego, found themselves as captives who were temporarily living in Babylon. As stewards, they choose to live a modest life style (Daniel 1:3-30).

  • Daniel used his gifts to glorify God (Daniel 2: 1-47).
  • Daniel risked his life to save pagan magicians form the king’s wrath (Daniel 2:24).
  • Daniel used his position and power to bless others (Daniel 2:48-49).
  • Daniel and his friends responded to the king with respect after proving that God was greater than the king’s god (Daniel 3:1-30).
  • Daniel recognized that his gifts were to not for self-indulgence but to bring about God’s purposes (Daniel 5:13-23).

The second component for the original design of marriage which will help couples to bulletproof their marriage is found in Genesis 2:16-17. God gave Adam instruction on what he could and could not do. One area that many men and woman have challenges with is pre-marital sex. Even though there is no specific prohibition in the Bible against sex between an unmarried man and unmarried woman. However, “sexual immorality” is denounced in about 25 passages in the New Testament. The word translated as “sexual immorality” or “fornication” in English versions of the Bible is the Greek word porneia, which means “illicit sexual intercourse.”

The third component that will help couples to bulletproof their marriage is found in Genesis 2:18. This is the area that the authors are directing couples to concentrate on without considering the original design of marriage. In this phase couples are to work together as a team. They are to have a primary focus on where God has called the man to serve. It does not minimize the Spiritual Gifts endowed to the wife, but it highlights the couples calling on their lives which is the only way for couples to bulletproof their marriage.

Related Articles

Bulletproof Marriage sponsors bridal gown at the Wedding Expo

What a Marriage Therapist Really Thinks

The Military’s Problem With Marriage

In Christ,

Dr. Derrick and Mrs. Sheila Campbell PO Box 4707

Cherry Hill, NJ 08003

(856) 566-3267

www.advancedmarriagetraining.com

 

Published books – Leading Your Marriage into the Promised Land -Leading Your Marriage into the Promised Land (Workbook for husbands & Wives) – Advanced Marriage Training for Singles

All Three          Advanced

 

“I was blessed by the love and sensitivity that you and your wife showed during the presentation”.

 

Bishop Joseph P. Ravenell

Samaritan Baptist Church

Trenton, NJ “I would highly recommend you to any church or organization desiring to provide their people with timely marital wisdom and practical application skills”.

 

Dr. James E. Woods, II

El Shaddia Christian Assembly

Philadelphia, PA

Derrick and Sheila

How should husbands apply the number one priority in their marriage?

In a recent article, a local author presupposes that husbands should implement their number one marriage priority through a socialization process that involves socialization unity. Unity is one of the most important aspects of a successful marriage. Husbands can make their number on priority in marriage by replicating the original design of marriage.

According to the article, Price: Making your marriage your No.1 priority, the practical applications of sustaining a romantic relationship include:

  • Dinner dates, important decision-making conversations, trips together, and sex sessions
  • Schedule one relationship enhancement event a year which includes a marriage retreat, a few sessions of couples’ counseling or at the very least a romantic getaway

The problem with the author’s advice is that is does not adhere in its entirety to the original design of marriage. According to the second phase of the original design of marriage a husband is to follow God’s directions. We can find one of those directions in Ephesians 5:25.

Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it (Ephesians 5:25).

The type of love referred to in this scripture is agape. Unlike our English word love, agape is not used in the New Testament to refer to romantic or sexual love. Nor does it refer to close friendship or brotherly love, for which the Greek word philia is used.

Agape love is a little different. It is not a feeling. The essence of agape love is goodwill, benevolence, and willful delight in the object of love. Agape love involves faithfulness, commitment, and an act of the will. It is distinguished from the other types of love by its lofty moral nature and strong character.

In the New Testament it takes on a distinct meaning. Agape is used to describe the love that is of and from God, whose very nature is love itself: “God is love” (1 John 4:8). God does not merely love; He is love itself. Everything God does flows from His love. Agape is also used to describe our love for God (Luke 10:27), a servant’s faithful respect to his master (Matthew 6:24), and a man’s attachment to things (John 3:19).

As mentioned in Ephesians 5:25, agape love is mentioned in how a husband should interact with his wife. God would not leave this as an instruction if it were not possible for the husband to provide this agape love. We also find this type of love in Ephesians 5:28.

How can a husband implement agape love in his marriage?

Agape love is to love in a social or moral sense. Implementing the social perspective means to form cooperative and interdependent relationships with others. The husband must form a cooperative and interdependent relationships with his wife. Implementing the moral perspective involves conforming to standards of what is right or just behavior.

Agape love in a marriage involves forming cooperative, interdependent, and right behavior with your spouse.

One example of a cooperative relationships is between a wolf and a raven. Ravens will guide the wolf to prey and the raven will eat the leftovers. Without this cooperation with each other it is difficult for either to survive. Which should be the same for the husband and wife. Cooperation requires teamwork which is consistent with the third phase of the original design of marriage. Teamwork is the action of working or acting together for a common purpose or benefit.

An interdependent relationship is a close personal relationship between a husband and wife, where one or both provides some type of support, and care of the other. Several examples of an interdependent relationships include:

  • Bees depend on flowers for nectar and flowers depend on bees for cross pollination
  • The relationship between a manager and his employees
  • Our muscles need oxygen to work, the circulatory and respiratory systems need muscles to get oxygen.

The final application that a husband must implement to ensure a happy marriage is right behavior. The husband is to assume leadership in the home (1 Corinthians 11:3. This leadership should not be dictatorial, condescending, or patronizing to the wife, but should be in accordance with the example of Christ leading the church. Husbands can accomplish the number one priority in their marriage by adhering to the original design of marriage.

Related Articles

Could your relationship survive ‘The Marriage Test’? Try this experiment to see

‘Married at First Sight’ recap: Is one husband stepping out?

7 Conversations To Have Before Marriage (If You Want To Avoid Divorce)

In Christ,

 

Dr. Derrick and Mrs. Sheila Campbell PO Box 1668 Blackwood, NJ 08012 (856) 566-3267 www.advancedmarriagetraining.com

 

Published books – Leading Your Marriage into the Promised Land -Leading Your Marriage into the Promised Land (Workbook for husbands & Wives) – Advanced Marriage Training for Singles

All Three     Advanced

 

“I was blessed by the love and sensitivity that you and your wife showed during the presentation”.

 

Bishop Joseph P. Ravenell

Samaritan Baptist Church

Trenton, NJ “I would highly recommend you to any church or organization desiring to provide their people with timely marital wisdom and practical application skills”.

 

Dr. James E. Woods, II

El Shaddia Christian Assembly

Philadelphia, PA

Derrick and Sheila

How should a husband interact with the in-laws?

In a recent article, an author proposes four solutions to ending the potential battle between the husband and the in-laws. The husband is the leader of the family and must consider the overall impact of his decisions. Husband’s will better serve their family by ensuring that an effective plan is developed for interacting with the in-laws.

According to the article, A Husband’s Guide to Dealing with the In-laws, there are four questions that a husband needs to respond to in order to have a better relationship with the in-laws. The first consideration involves the wife. Since the wife comes first, the husband must consider:

  • What serves her best as you think about her parents?
  • Does she need protection or distance from an abusive father?
  • Does she long for closer connection with her mom?
  • Does she flourish when she’s back home for the holidays?
  • Rather than thinking about your own interests and agenda first, what serves your wife’s needs and desires the best?

The second consideration involves the husband’s family. The husband should consider his wife, his marriage, and his kids. The husband can consider his family through by entertaining the following questions:

  • Do your kids prosper around their grandparents?
  • Is there something unique happening in the life of your family that means it is best not to have more stress in your household for a season?

The third consideration involves the in-laws. The husband should consider the following questions:

  • Is what you want to say for their benefit or is it just to vent your frustration?
  • Have you considered the ways your family might be able to bless them with access to your household?
  • Are there ways your wife legitimately needs to care for the needs of her aging parents?
  • If you have kids of your own, one day you are likely to be the in-law parents. How would you like to be treated when the time comes?

The final consideration for the in-laws involves the husband himself. The husband should consider the following questions:

  • What serves your needs?
  • Is it hugely draining for you to be around your in-laws?
  • Have you spent every vacation for the last ten years with her family, and now it’s time to try something different?
  • Are you trying to encourage a healthy relationship that moves beyond familiar passive-aggressive dynamics?

The problem with the advice provided by All Pro Dad is that it does not follow the original design of marriage (Ordermige). There are three phases to the original design of marriage. In the second phase, Adam was instructed by God on what he could and could not do.

God has left the husband two instructions that are prominent in how he interacts with his in-laws. The first instruction in found in (Genesis 2:24). According to this instruction, a husband is to forsake his mother and father for the sake of his wife. He and his wife are to become one flesh together. No father or mother from either side should be able to come between them. What also happens is that the two families become joined together. The husband’s parents become the parents of the wife and the wife’s parents become the parents of the husband.

The bible has left a very specific instructions for parents in Exodus 20:12.

Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee (Exodus 20:12).

The word honour in the Hebrew means to make numerous, rich, honorable. According to the law of first mention, the first time that this word honour is mentioned in the bible is in Genesis 13:2. The verse indicates that Abraham was rich. According to the scriptures, the husband should work with his wife to develop a plan that enhances the lives of his in-laws.

Related Articles

Surviving holidays with the in-laws

How to Have Holiday Sex at Your In-Laws’

Great in-laws are inclusive, thoughtful, friendly

In Christ,

 

Dr. Derrick and Mrs. Sheila Campbell PO Box 1668 Blackwood, NJ 08012 (856) 566-3267 www.advancedmarriagetraining.com

 

Published books – Leading Your Marriage into the Promised Land -Leading Your Marriage into the Promised Land (Workbook for husbands & Wives) – Advanced Marriage Training for Singles

All Three          Advanced

 

“I was blessed by the love and sensitivity that you and your wife showed during the presentation”.

 

Bishop Joseph P. Ravenell

Samaritan Baptist Church

Trenton, NJ “I would highly recommend you to any church or organization desiring to provide their people with timely marital wisdom and practical application skills”.

 

Dr. James E. Woods, II

El Shaddia Christian Assembly

Philadelphia, PA

Derrick and Sheila

 

 

How can couples stay in love forever?

According to a recent article, couples can stay in love if they utilize several small daily practices. Staying in love requires basic principles that supersede daily practices. Couples can only stay in love if they understand what it takes to have a marriage commitment.

According to the article, Marriage Advice: 6 Ways to Stay in Love Forever, the following six main practices will maintain a loving marriage.

  1. Couple Time
  2. Connecting throughout the day
  3. Giving Appreciations
  4. Trying new things
  5. Making each other laugh
  6. Praising your spouse’s physical appearance

While each practice has benefits, it will not become beneficial unless the husband and wife understand commitment.

What type of commitment will ensure that couples stay in love?

According to the world’s standards, commitment is the state or quality of being dedicated to a cause, activity, etc. The classic example of commitment is related to the egg and bacon breakfast. The chicken is involved but the pig is committed. The chicken is involved because they continue to lay the eggs. It is a natural process and their contribution does not have to be permanent. However, the pig is committed because their involvement is permanent.

Commitment involves demonstrating that an individual will engage in something in which it has the highest priority. The Bible also teaches that the highest priority in our lives is our commitment to God. Jesus said, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment” (Matthew 22:37-38).

Furthermore, according to the original design of marriage (Ordermige), both men and women should learn certain commitments before entertaining marriage. The major commitment that the perspective husbands must have is to become a servant and a steward. The perspective wife must learn to be committed to the husband.

What type of servant should the man be to ensure that he and his wife stay in love forever?

According to the original design of marriage (Ordermige), the husband should be a servant that is committed to God. A husband that is committed to God will serve his purpose. God calls every man to serve a purpose that glorifies His name. Noah served his purpose when he obeyed God and built the ark. Joseph served his purpose when he delivered his family from the famine that was in the land of Egypt. Moses served his purpose when he delivered the Israelis from the clutches of the Egyptians. A husband who desires to stay in love forever must maintain a commitment to God by serving in his God ordained purpose.

What type of steward should the man be to ensure that he and his wife stay in love forever?

According to the original design of marriage (Ordermige), God granted Adam a stewardship when He assigned him the duty of protecting the Garden of Eden. A stewardship requires a relationship between the master and the one that the master entrusts with the resources.

Stewards faithfully use their talents and resources to glorify God. In the parable regarding the talents, Jesus teaches us that we are to use our resources to glorify God (Matthew 25: 14-30). It does not matter whether the resources are epic or miniscule. God expects men to be good stewards over the resources that He provides.

What type of wife should a woman be to ensure that she and her husband stay in love forever?

According to the original design of marriage (Ordermige), God made Eve to be a helper. God added Eve so that she and Adam would become a team. A team is a group who are organized together for some common goal. That common goal is the area in which Adam and in our case in which the man is called to serve. From a biblical perspective, teamwork involves sharing in the biblical responsibilities based on biblical goals, values, priorities, giftedness, and training. God made Eve to be a team player. God designed each wife to be the ultimate team player. A team player does not seek to be a one-person show, but works together with her husband and uses their skills and abilities in a cooperative way.

Staying in love forever will require that couples exhibit a commitment to God as outlined in the original design of marriage (Ordermige).

Related Articles

12 Things Not to Say to Someone Who Loves Staying In

Love is a Choice More than a Feeling

Making Love Last

 

In Christ,

 

Dr. Derrick and Mrs. Sheila Campbell PO Box 1668 Blackwood, NJ 08012 (856) 566-3267 www.advancedmarriagetraining.com

 

Published books – Leading Your Marriage into the Promised Land -Leading Your Marriage into the Promised Land (Workbook for husbands & Wives) – Advanced Marriage Training for Singles

All Three          Advanced

 

“I was blessed by the love and sensitivity that you and your wife showed during the presentation”.

 

Bishop Joseph P. Ravenell

Samaritan Baptist Church

Trenton, NJ “I would highly recommend you to any church or organization desiring to provide their people with timely marital wisdom and practical application skills”.

 

Dr. James E. Woods, II

El Shaddia Christian Assembly

Philadelphia, PA

Derrick and Sheila

What is the most important element of a successful marriage?

Marriage Success

In a recent article, an author points out that a national study reveals that there are three components to a successful marriage. The national study attempts to validate a formula that will keep couples happy. The only component necessary for a successful marriage is a commitment to the original design of marriage (Ordermige).

According to the article, a survey of 400 Americans who were involved in a romantic union for at least 30 years, indicated that the three most important factors in a successful marriage include communication, knowledge, and commitment.  Communication seems to be a key factor because the surveyed participants believe that most marriage challenges can be solved through open dialogue. Knowledge plays an important role too. Understanding the future for both partners is cited as important to planning a future together. Finally, commitment made the list in the top three attributes of a successful marriage. The researchers report that commitment requires a certain mindset. “Rather than seeing marriage as a voluntary partnership that lasts only as long as the passion does, the elders propose a mindset in which it is a profound commitment to be respected, even if things go sour over the short term.” While commitment is important, it is the type of commitment that ensure a successful marriage.

What type of commitment will ensure a successful marriage?

The only commitment that is necessary for a successful marriage is to replicate the original design of marriage. The original design of marriage begins with the joining of a man and woman. David provides the example of masculinity. According to 1 Kings 2:1-3, “As David’s time to die drew near, he charged Solomon his son, saying, I am going the way of all the earth. Be strong, therefore, and show yourself a man. Keep the charge of the LORD your God, to walk in His ways, to keep His statutes, His commandments, His ordinances, and His testimonies, according to what is written in the Law of Moses, that you may succeed in all that you do and wherever you turn.” This scripture is consistent with the original design of a successful marriage outlined in Genesis 2:15 – 16. A husband is to be a servant of God.

A man also has a different anatomy when compared to a woman. The sexually anatomy of a man protrudes outward while the sexual anatomy protrudes inward. A man and woman are born in this fashion and any alteration of their sexual anatomy is outside of the will of God.

The bible defines a woman too. According to Genesis 2:18, God designed a woman to be a helpmeet. God designed the woman to be the ultimate team player for the husband.

Several wives proved that they were worthy helpmeets for their husbands. Sarah helped Abraham to fulfill God’s promise by helping him to become the father of many nations. When she was barren, she offered her slave Hagar as a surrogate mother to her husband Abraham. Hagar bore a son Ishmael. Ishmael became the father of twelve sons who include Nebaioth, Kedae, Adbeel, Mibsam, Misma, Dumah, Massa, Hadar, Tema, Jetur, Naphish, and Kedemah. Ishmael is recognized by Muslims as the ancestor of several prominent Arab tribes who inhabit Western Asia, North Africa, parts of the horn of Africa, as well as other areas in the Arab world. Isaac, who is Abrahams second son is recognized as the father of the Jewish nation.

Zipporah  played a vital role in the life of Moses who is considered the savior of the enslaved Jewish people. God spoke to Moses from a  burning bush. God commanded Moses to confront Pharaoh and demand freedom for all of the Hebrew slaves.  During his journey to Egypt something strange happened. Because Moses had neglected to circumcise his son God sought to kill him (Exodus 4:24 – 45). Zipporah took it upon herself to circumcise her son by cutting the foreskin with a razor-sharp flint blade. Then she said: “Surely, a bridegroom of blood thou art to me.” She was probably relieved and grateful that her husband did not die.

Priscilla and her husband Aquila were close friends as well supporters of the Apostle Paul who were founding members of the Christian Church. Aquila and Priscilla made their living together, grew in the Word together, and served the Lord together. We know that they made a living together as tent-makers (Acts 18:3). Due to the fact that tents were such a prominent part of Hebrew life, Aquila’s parents chose to teach tent-making as a means to earn a living. Later Aquila taught the skill to his wife, and she happily assisted him in his business. Aquila and Priscilla meet the Lord through Paul. Afterwards they grew in the Lord together. Finally, When Paul left Antioch on his third missionary journey, he traveled through Asia Minor by land and returned to Ephesus, where he remained teaching the Word of God for approximately three years (Acts 26:31). During that period of time, he wrote his first letter to the Corinthians and stated, “The churches of Asia greet you. Aquila and Priscilla greet you heartily in the Lord, with the church that is in their house” (1 Cor. 16:19).

As you have read, the only commitment required for a successful marriage, is a commitment to the original design of marriage.

Related Articles

The 3 most important elements of a successful marriage

Doctor says ‘5 Love Languages’ are key to successful marriage

11 keys to a successful marriage from a police officer’s perspective

 

In Christ,

Dr. Derrick and Mrs. Sheila Campbell

PO Box 1668 Blackwood, NJ 08012

(856) 566-3267 www.advancedmarriagetraining.com

Published books – Leading Your Marriage into the Promised Land -Leading Your Marriage into the Promised Land (Workbook for husbands & Wives) – Advanced Marriage Training for Singles

All Three          Advanced

 

“I was blessed by the love and sensitivity that you and your wife showed during the presentation”.

 

Bishop Joseph P. Ravenell

Samaritan Baptist Church

Trenton, NJ “I would highly recommend you to any church or organization desiring to provide their people with timely marital wisdom and practical application skills”.

 

Dr. James E. Woods, II

El Shaddia Christian Assembly

Philadelphia, PA

DSC_5453-(ZF-4806-92502-1-002)